I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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