The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
