My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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