It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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