yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
