You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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