So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
