Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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