How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
