ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
