you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
