Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
my being single is dangerous.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
