My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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