Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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