ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
