party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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