:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
