I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Randomize
