I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
