Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Randomize