Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
