I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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