fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
