I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
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