Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
