that's an acceptable place to lick
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
