just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
