I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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