I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
