Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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