i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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