Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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