yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
