so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Randomize
