Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
