btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
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