I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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