The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
