Having a random hookup so left but love u
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Just high enough for therapy.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
