If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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