nutella sex= disaster
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
