I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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