I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
