I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I want you more than these girls want KFC
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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