weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize