This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
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