Someone shit on the floor
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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