also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
