Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
