So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
