Your face is a jimmy john
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
im having a threesome with these popsicles
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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