Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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