Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
