you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
