i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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