Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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