he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
