Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
wat bout pragnant strippers??
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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