I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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