She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I just found puke in my bra..
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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