It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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