Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Your dad touched me again.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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