i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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